Monday, November 24, 2014

My Mammaw

In the beginning of October we found out that my Mammaw had a tumor that was assumed to be cancer and due to its size, we were told that it had spread. They removed it and discovered that miraculously, it was not cancer. She came home but 5 days later she had a stroke. We went up to TN to visit her in the hospital. She was not able to speak (which was Mammaws favorite activity) and was still pretty out of it. Over  the next two weeks, her body just started shutting down and my Pappaw decided to grant her wishes of being put on comfort care. She passed away on two weeks ago.

Honestly, the letting her pass away part was the hardest and I was so relieved to hear that she was no longer suffering. We went to TN for her funeral and to spend some time with my Pappaw. They were married for 66 years (66!!!!). and although they bickered, my Pappaw has lost his other half. I can  not tell you have hard it was to watch him sobbing over her body and see my dad cry. We had lots of family come to visit, including some cousins that have never made it in. My Pappaw loved seeing them but I could see that he was so sad not to be sharing that reunion with my Mammaw.

Grieving is strange. I really am at peace with her passing because I know that her mental state was declining rapidly in the last few years and it was better for her to go in a quicker way and suffer less. I am not overly depressed but when I think about all my memories with my grandparents (and there are millions), they have all of a sudden quadrupled in worth to me and I keep getting choked up. They are priceless and just solidifies how important making memories with my children is to me.

I think with all of my family, our primary concern is our Pappaw. I know he has to grieve for himself and figure out his new normal but I absolutely hate this for him. If I could take his pain away and grieve for him, I would do it in a heartbeat.  They were married when he was 20 so he has not been without my Mammaw in almost all of his adult life and this is going to be a huge adjustment.

We gave Scarlett her middle name so I am very grateful that her and Mammaw got to meet and have a short visit here on earth. I am glad she is at peace and pray everyday for my Pappaw to find joy again in life. 

I can not believe my grandparents were ever this young but this was  them right around the time the got married.

Mammaw's glamour shot. It has sat on Pappaw's dresser for as long as I can remember. 

I spent a lot of happy times with my Mammaw and Pappaw.

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